warriorsfanficfandomcom-20200213-history
How to drive ThunderClan crazy
This is probably the weirdest fanfic I've ever made! Also, this probably won't be finished anytime soon(maybe never) so if someone has an idea then I'll be happy to add it! I do not own any of the songs. Step one: Make a ridiculous enterance Brambleclaw: And I'll lead a hunting patrol with... (cat lands on him from the sky, crushing him) Cat: Oops, sorry, whatever-your-name-is. I'm Storm. What's your name? Foxleap: Rouge ambush!!!!!!! Brambleclaw: Oof, get off of me! (another cat lands on him) Storm: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. That's my brother. Other cat: You can call me A. Catt. Storm: That's not your name. A. Catt: I don't care. Firestar: Are you Kittypets? Storm: (tilts head) What in Minecraft are you talking about? Brambleclaw: (looks confused) Minecraft? A. Catt: It's a human thing. Firestar: Oooookay...... A. Catt: Where is Unicorn? Toadstep: What's a unicorn? (third cat lands on warrior's den, breaking a hole in it) Storm: That's Unicorn. Cloudtail: So... beautiful! (Daisy and Brightheart attack him) Unicorn: So, this is where we stay? Looks good. Cloudtail: Daisy! Brightheart! Stop!!!!! Step 2: Annoy everyone with bad puns and random references Storm: We're staying, right, Rusty? Firestar: My name is Firestar! Anyway, how did you know my Kittypet name? A. Catt: I bet she guessed, because you were looking a little bit rusty! Storm and Firestar: Not funny. A. Catt: Ok, how about some songs? I'll sing my favorite! Storm and Unicorn: No!!!!!!!!!!! A. Catt: Too late! (sings "Wrecking Ball") I came in like a wrecking ball.... Storm: My ears are bleeding! Daisy: Help!! Unicorn: You sound even worse than Sonic Boom! Sandstorm: Sonic Boom? Storm: She's a griffon. Rosepetal: What's a griffon? Unicorn: (sighs) Just make him stop. A. Catt: Sonic Boom's the bomb! Storm: You got it wrong. A. Catt: Oh yeah. It's the bomb...... Unicorn: To be a Frosticon!!!!!! Sandstorm: Just send out the hunting patrols already! And please make sure I'm not with these guys. Brambleclaw: Sandstorm is on a patrol with me, A. Catt and Unicorn. Sandstorm: (sighs) You hate me, don't you? Step 3: Scare off every single mouse in the forest Brambleclaw: You ever hunted before? A. Catt: No, no really. Hey, a twig! Grrrr.....(goes on a rampage and breaks every single twig in the world) Unicorn: He made 16 anger management counselors quit. Sandstorm: Another reason not to let him in our camp. He'll scare all the prey away! Meanwhile, in ShadowClan..... Tawnypelt: Sorry, we couldn't find anything. Snowbird: Except for a cat going on a rampage.... in our territory. Blackstar: IN OUR TERRITORY?! A RAMPAGING CAT IN OUR TERRITORY?! Ratscar: Yeah, it was breaking branches or something. Blackstar: SHOW ME IT NOW!!!!!!! Tawnypelt: It ran off towards WindClan. Now in WindClan..... Onestar: Did you notice anything... unusual? Whiskerstripe: Yeah, there was a rampaging cat. Ashfoot: You know that forested stretch of land? It was breaking every twig there. It didn't go to RiverClan, those fishfaces! Breezepelt: This means war! Where did it go to? Ashfoot: ThunderClan. Breezepelt: Just like ThunderClan. Always taking in strays. Well, it serves them right to have no prey. We should attack them at once!!! Now back to ThunderClan..... Unicorn: He should be back in 5. (A.Catt comes back.) Brambleclaw: That wasn't five seconds. Unicorn: Now let's get back before more trouble happens. (Blackstar and Breezepelt come charging at them) Sandstorm: Too late. Step 4: Give yourself a bunch of irrational fears and allergies Leafpool: If you want to stay, you need to do your share of the jobs. Go clean Dirtplace out! A. Catt: I'm allergic to cats. Leafpool: No you aren't. Well, if you don't want to, go fetch me cobwebs. A. Catt: I'm scared of cobwebs. Leafpool: Ok, check the elders for ticks! A. Catt: I'm allergic to ticks. Leafpool: Just clean out their bedding!!!!!!!! A. Catt: I'm scared of bald people. Leafpool: The elders aren't bald!!!! GO CLEAN OUT THEIR BEDDING!!!!!!!!!! A. Catt: Mouse-dung! Step 5: Dress up as the leader and give the warriors crazy names A. Catt: (in Firestar costume) All cats gather for a clan meeting! (cats come) Brambleclaw and Dustpelt come up! Brambleclaw: What in StarClan is this about? (comes up) Dustpelt: I have no idea. (comes up) A. Catt in Firestar costume: Dustpelt, you shall now be known as Dirtpelt. Brambleclaw, you shall now be known as Rambleclaw. Rambleclaw and Dirtpelt: What????????!!!!!!! (Real Firestar walks into camp) Firestar: What did I miss? (everyone looks at A. Catt, who unzips costume) A. Catt: I just wanted to have some fun! Firestar: Now let's fix this mess. Rambleclaw, you shall now be known as Bramblepelt. Dirtpelt, you shall now be known as Dustclaw. Bramblepelt and Dustclaw: Wait a minute..... Storm: It's some kind of vortex!! You guys are each other combined!! Firestar: Uh oh. Step 6: Fix a really weird name vortex Firestar: A. Catt, you are in big trouble. A. Catt: What????????? Sandstorm: You started this! A. Catt: It was an accident!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't kill me!!!!!!!!!!!!! Firestar: You will have a pun- ishment. No pun intended. (Storm whispers something in his ear) Storm: Do it! Firestar: A. Catt, from now on you shall be known as Cutie Pie!!!!! Cutie Pie: No!!!!! Wait a minute, that's my real name! Storm: Exactly. Be glad we didn't name you Pinkie Pie instead. Bramblepelt and Dustclaw: If they did, he would go on a rampage, like the stick-breaking one. (both cover mouth) What did I say?! Storm: It's a twin vortex! Both have to do the same thing the other does! Like that awesome Disney game! Unicorn: You have to help too, Pinkie pie! Cutie Pie: Who is she? Bramblepelt and Dustclaw: Yeah. Who is she? Unicorn: Sigh. Cutie Pie: SAYING, "SIGH" IS AGAINST THE CODE OF ALL THAT IS RIGHT AND AWESOME LIKE MIXELS AND COTTON CANDY!!! Storm: And so is making a twin vortex, imitating a leader, using all caps and using more than one exclamation point. Unicorn: Qwerty Qwerty Qwerty Qwerty Qwerty! Cutie Pie: She has the Qwerty disease! Run! RUN!!!!! Firestar: Are these cats going to do something that isn't weird, Kittypetish or against the warrior code? Unicorn: Qwerty! Step 7: Fix a really weird name vortex(for real this time!) Storm: We need to do something productive. Bramblepelt and Dustclaw are counting on us!!! Bramblepelt and Dustclaw: We don't need anyone's help!(Tigerstar randomly appears) Cutie Pie: Tigerclaw! My hero! Tigerstar: Shut up, Cutie Pie. Firestar: I'm ready to kill you!!!!! Tigerstar: Oh Fireheart, I'm not mad at you. I just came to watch my curse unfold. (evil grin) Storm: Besides, the Hunters don't want either of you to die yet. Wait, you did it?! Tigerstar: Yeah I did! I cursed them!!!! MuahHaha!!!!!! Bramblepelt and Dustclaw: Rawr! (kills) Tigerstar: No!!!!!! Bye bye, curse!(lifts curse and doesn't die) Brambleclaw: Argh! I practiced forever for that moment! Wait! The curse lifted!!!!!!!!!!! Yahoo!!!!!! Dustpelt:Yay!!!!! Firestar: You're still Cutie Pie, Cutie Pie. Cutie Pie: Aww....... Step 8: Make a really long announcement at the Gathering (Note: If you get bored easily, skip this part) Onestar: WindClan is finished reporting. Cutie Pie: I have an announcement to make. Blackstar: Isn't this the cat who went on a stick rampage? Cutie Pie: (ignores) Here are the new, awesome clans! Firestar: Put moss in your ears!(everyone puts moss in ears) Cutie Pie(ignores again) First of all, MixelClan! Unicorn: Cutie Pie..... Cutie Pie: (ignores everyone forever) Leader: Teslostar Deputy:Flurrflight Medicine cat:Lunknose Warriors: Flainflame Kraderfoot Gobbapelt Jawgtooth Nixelscar Cubitheart Krawpelt Tentrofoot Vulkfoot Volectrofur Zaptorstorm Apprentices: Chomlypaw Shuffpaw Seismopaw Slumbopaw Balkpaw Zorchpaw Unicorn: This is even worse than your imitation of Justin Bieber. Cutie pie:(ignores) Next, Skylandersclan! Leader: Spyrostar Deputy: Cynderstorm Medicine cat:Eonheart Warriors: Freezeblade Firekracken Ninjinniclaw Sonicboom Scratchflight Chillpool Flashwing(I know that's her name but I couldn't thing of anything to go after it except for "wing" and Flashwingwing is too crazy) Crusherfoot Trapshadow Stealthelf Hexheart Sprocketstrike Apprentices: None Storm:.... Cutie pie:Next up, Minecraftclan! (Gets tackled by Storm) Storm: We. Are. Going. Now! Step 9: Become a psychic Cutie Pie: Firestar, stay still. I am going to read your mind. Firestar: No way! Brambleclaw: You and what army? Cutie Pie: Ssh. I'm concentrating. Firestar: Hehehe....(sings "Let it Go") Let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore.... Let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door. I don't care what they're gonna say, Let the storm rage on.... the cold never bothered me anyway. Storm: If you have a cat that can read minds, Unicorn: Like this Pinkie Pie here...(Cutie Pie gives her an annoyed look) Cutie Pie: You would be unstoppable! Firestar: Ok, just this once.... Cutie pie: (puts ear on Firestar's head) You are thinking about exiling me from all clans, forever. Firestar:(faints) Storm: Your radiant psychic power must have been too much for him. Step 10: Celebrate your stuffed animal's birthday Cutie Pie: Firestar! It's Toothy's birthday! Firestar: Toothy? Cutie Pie: Yeah, he's my toy dog! Firestar: Not impressed. Cutie Pie: Tell the Clan! Firestar: No way! Two days later... Unicorn: Today is Unicorn Jr's birthday! Firestar: (ignores) Hunting patrols will be Brambleclaw leading one and Cloudtail leading the other. Unicorn: Sigh. Four more days later... Storm: Firestar! It's Stormfly's birthday! Firestar: ENOUGH WITH THE STUFFED ANIMAL BIRTHDAYS!!!!!!!! Storm: Stormfly is a dragon..... Stormfly: (bites Firestar) Firestar: Owwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!! Step 11: Throw dodgeballs at everyone Firestar: I'd like to make a very important announcement....(gets hit with dodgeball) Cutie Pie: Hehehe...... Firestar: Who did that?!? (Everyone looks at Cutie Pie) Cutie Pie: (hides dodgeball) Not me! Firestar: Well, I guess I can continue. (Gets hit with another dodgeball) Everyone: (looks at Cutie Pie)It was him! Cutie Pie: It was Unicorn! Unicorn: Pinkie Pie..... Cutie Pie: Umm..... I mean a passing unicorn! Storm: You know you're a bad liar, right? Brambleclaw:(to Firestar) Should have kicked him out when you had the chance. Step 12: Use wizard powers Brambleclaw: This is a really important hunting patrol. Don't mess it up, Cutie Pie. Unicorn: Yeah, Pinkie Pie. Storm: Make a good impression! (whispers) Although you might have made one to many bad ones. Cutie Pie: I heard that! Storm: You were supposed to. Now hunt! Cutie Pie: Ok! (uses magic powers to pull every mouse in the forest to him) Unicorn: Forget the "Pinkie Pie" joke. You're more like a unicorn or something. Like me! Cutie Pie: Done. In ShadowClan.... Tawnypelt: You won't believe this, but there was some sort of magic beam that made every single mouse in the forest attracted to it! Blackstar: WHAT?! Rowanclaw: Yeah, it was pulling them toward ThunderClan! Blackstar: THUNDERCLAN?! Pinepaw: WindClan and RiverClan are lucky. They don't catch mice! Back to ThunderClan...... Firestar: You have shown great hunting skills, Cutie Pie. Brambleclaw: Actually, he used magic. Cutie Pie: That counts, right? Step 13: Become really superstitious Storm: Ok, we got the set ready. Unicorn: Almost ready. Just gotta bring this mirror in and the play's set will be, well, set. Cutie Pie: No! Unicorn: What the..? Cutie Pie: YOU CAN'T USE A REAL MIRROR! USING REAL MIRRORS FOR A PLAY IS BAD LUCK!! Storm: Calm down, Cutie. Sandstorm: Good luck handling him. Cutie Pie: SAYING GOOD LUCK AT A PLAY IS BAD LUCK ALSO!!!!!!!! Sandstorm: Would you stop?! Unicorn: Argh, the horseshoe's tilted! Now I gotta fix it! (adjusts it) Cutie Pie: WRONG WAY! WRONG WAY!! Unicorn: It's just a horseshoe! Storm: Let's just get the play ready. Then you can go crazy. Step 14: Steal everyone's food Storm: These mice are great! Unicorn: Like those addicting cat treats, but more natural! Dustpelt: Kittypets........ Cutie Pie: Look! A badger! Daisy: The kits! Berrynose: We need to drive it off!(everyone except Cutie Pie run to the front of the camp) Cutie Pie: These mice sure are good! Especially when you have 23+ of them! (eats everyone's mouse) Step 15: Dress up as a zombie cat for Halloween Storm: (in Spyro costume) Thanks, guys. Halloween's much more fun with more cats. Daisy: (in Frankenstein costume) This reminds me of my barn cat days! Dustpelt: (in ghost costume) Forget what I said about this being a Kittypet thing. This is awesome! Storm: Hey,where's Cutie Pie? Sandstorm: (in knight costume) I don't know. He said he went to put on his costume, but I didn't see him when I went to look for him. (Cutie Pie in zombie costume enters) Cutie Pie: (in deep voice) I am the evil zombie cat that returns to haunt you!!!!! Everyone: Ahh!!!! (hides) Cutie Pie: That was easier than I thought. Step 16: Set up snares all over ShadowClan's territory Cutie Pie: Hehehehehehehe.......... Storm: What did you do now? (sighs) In ShadowClan.... Ratscar: Hey, what's this? (taps snare with paw) Tawnypelt: Don't touch it! (Ratscar gets captured in snare) Pinepaw: Too late. Tawnypelt: Don't just stand there! Help me take him back! (both drag Ratscar with the snare on his foot back to camp) Rowanclaw: What is that? Tawnypelt: Some sort of trap, I guess. Rowanclaw: When Blackstar hears about this.... Blackstar: WHAT WILL I NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT?! Rowanclaw: Too late. Blackstar: WHAT IS IT?! Tawnypelt: Ratscar got caught in some sort of trap. Littlecloud: Not a fox trap. It's more like a Twoleg trap intended to just capture cats, not hurt them. Blackstar: WHEN I SEE THE TWOLEG WHO PLACED THIS TRAP, I'LL KILL IT!!!!! Back in ThunderClan..... Firestar: What did you do, Cutie Pie? Cutie Pie: Ummm...... Nothing! Nothing at all! That's right, I didn't do anything! Unicorn and Storm: Then, what is this?! (both hold up snare) Cutie Pie: Umm..... A Twoleg thing? Unicorn: Pinkie Pie, you are the worst liar in the history of the world. Part 17: "Accidentally" do bad stuff Jayfeather: If you want to stay, you have to find your talent. Maybe you're a good medicine cat apprentice. Cutie Pie. Ok. Whoops! (purposefully knocks over a stack of herbs) Jayfeather: I HAD THOSE PERFECTLY SORTED!!!!!! Cutie Pie: I'm so sorry! Jayfeather: Go see Mousefur. Her temper might keep you from driving us crazy. In the elder's den..... Mousefur: Go check me for ticks! Cutie Pie: Ok. Oops! (purposefully squeezes mouse bile on Mousefur) Mousefur: YOU INSOLENT APPRENTICE!!!! Cutie Pie: Sorry! Mousefur: Go talk to Firestar. He'll have something for you to do! In the Leader's Den... Firestar: Why don't you clean out bedding from my den? Cutie Pie: Ok. Whoops! (purposefully runs into Firestar) Firestar: Stop pretending to make mistakes! Other cats shouldn't suffer because you want to have fun! Cutie Pie: Mouse-dung! Part 18: Pretend to have the stomach bug Cutie Pie: Ughh, I don't feel so good… (throws up on Firestar) Firestar: NOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL SHINY PELT!!!!! (runs off) Storm: What did you have to do that for? Cutie Pie: I had no choice! Storm: Yeah you did. That was the fakest "ugh" I've ever seen. Cutie Pie: No it wasn't. Storm: You're right. It was the fakest "ugh" I've ever heard. In the medicine cat's den… Leafpool: Hey, where did all of the yarrow go?